when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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