somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
