He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
