We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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