I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
