she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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