she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm like, not good at living.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Please don't give away my fajitas
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
