He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
