Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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