I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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