I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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