I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize