Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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