I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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