Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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