There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
