I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
