im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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