wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize