i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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