We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
