Tell her she can't have a vagina
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize