yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
