I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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