evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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