Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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