i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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