I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
