My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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