you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
