me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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