Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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