saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
