wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
