how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
