I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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