with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
