Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
