please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
