he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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