So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
