haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
