You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
