all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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