If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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