we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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