I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
