hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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