so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize