grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
