just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
