Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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