There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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