you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
