physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
