Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
