Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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