I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
