it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize