I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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