Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
