is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
