My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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