I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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